parenthood – Laura Insley.

morning thoughts on a mother’s day…

People have said to me that I’m a good mother. Then there was that one time when someone called me a deadbeat mother. There are the things people say about you and then the things you think about yourself.

I have been a mother for almost 20 years. The role has not always been sunshine and rainbows, but I think that’s the mental weight of what I thought it meant to be a mother.

I know it’s a hard day for a lot of people, so I won’t take up too much space talking about it. But I felt like this was worth putting out there…

a series of three haikus about what happened today…

I haven’t written a poem in awhile, but I felt moved to do so today. One wasn’t enough, so I’m giving you three that provide a solid overview of our day… so far.

You’re welcome…

are you feeling this shift?

I feel a weird bubbling up of something big underneath the surface. (Did anyone else just get that one Encanto song in their head?) Anyway, it’s exciting, even though I’m not quite sure what it’s about yet. But it gives me “new beginnings” and “#mondaymotivation” vibes.

It’s like that feeling right before you run a race. When you’re behind the line, lunged down, with your hands in front of you on the ground, and you’re just waiting for the cue to GO!

Not that I’ve ever been in a proper race, but ya know… when you’re all wound up and just ready. The only thing is that I don’t know what I’m ready for. I just know that I can’t wait, so I just need to DO.

Does that make sense?

reset…

As I’m trying to figure out how to start this post, I realize that I have a lot going on in my head right now. My thoughts are scattered and nothing sounds right.

While this doesn’t sound too unusual for someone who just birthed a baby, brought a newborn home to sick siblings, is sleep-deprived and experiencing uncomfortable postpartum side effects, and riding an emotional rollercoaster… it’s still annoying.

plot twist…

Over the last several weeks, my family has been preparing for big changes.

Three weeks ago, we moved one kid into college dorms out of state.

Two weeks ago, we took one to her first day of kindergarten, while her brother began his last year of junior high.

Next week, one will make his first foray into preschool.

And in about 16ish weeks…

an empath parent… (the teen years)

Ever since Jillie crossed over into teendom, I’m either shocked, dismayed, angry, sad, impressed, proud, confused, “seriously?” or “wait, what?” For me, this has absolutely been one of the most challenging periods of parenthood thus far.

The mood swings, the attitude, the back talk, the disrespectful language, the terrible decisions, the doing dumb stuff…

And Elliott is only four months shy of entering this stage of life. But I guess this is growing up. (Cue Blink-182)