focus on the wins…

It’s not even noon and I’m worried that I’ve wasted the day.

I took today off from work to tend to overdue doctors’ appointments. Ethan will have his four-month check-up (He’s past five months now). And I will have a “new patient” meeting with a primary care physician (This was scheduled over a year ago and then I had to push it farther back because I was too consumed by work).

The word, neglect, has been running through my head for the last day or so. Ethan’s delay in getting to his well-check appointment was due to illness, so it couldn’t be helped. But I’m pretty sure everything else that overwhelms me right now is mostly my fault.

Continue reading “focus on the wins…”

when you receive a text so beautiful and profound that you post it on your blog…

“You know, there are movie moments that you love, but you hope to never be. Maybe you thought you’d never be. But, then here you are. Charming your landlord while you sip what’s left of your dignity and hope they don’t notice how hopeless you are. Or they do and cheers to them for seeing you.”

<3 Laura

circle the drain… (pt. three)

I realized that I was so deeply unhappy with myself that I couldn’t even look in the mirror. If I did happen to catch a glimpse of my reflection, I didn’t recognize the person staring back. I pretended not to care about my appearance after awhile, citing “#thatquarantinelife” and “#workingfromhomewithababyatoddlerapreteenandateenlife.” Though these are legitimate stressors, they are also excuses. BS excuses.

Sure, times are hard and you don’t have to be perfect, but when you start to feel disgusting in your own skin (and there’s something you can do about it, but you just don’t), there is something wrong. In my particular case, there was no one to blame but myself.

Continue reading “circle the drain… (pt. three)”

here’s the problem with being sick…

My family has been some form of sick for over a month now. This is one of the drawbacks to being a part of a split household. Illness has the ability to bounce back and forth like its a ball in a pinball machine, hitting this person and that person, and maybe that one again.

As I write this, I have a throat infection and pink eye. Owen has a double ear infection and nasty cough as a result. Since it hurts to speak, I just keep having all of these thoughts swirling around in my head—things I have to do, things I have to tell people, things that I want to do, things that I worry about, etc. But I’m at a loss because of the sickness setback.

Continue reading “here’s the problem with being sick…”