the power of intention… (pt. one)

As a child, I was told that I could “do anything I set my mind to.” It usually wasn’t far behind “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

So, in my kid brain, “setting your mind to something” translated to a big picture idea. Like, if I wanted to be a doctor or lawyer, and worked really hard, it would happen.

Whatever the “thing,” it was always somewhere far in the future, promising eventual graspability. Regardless, I took it to mean that anything was possible.

It took me yearsโ€”decadesโ€”to realize that “anything” had actually been within my reach all along…

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simplifying life…

When we got to Boise in August 2018, we didn’t have jobs waiting for us. This financial impediment was a little nerve-racking, since we still had rent and debt, not to mention mouths to feed. Somehow (thank Universe) we had enough money coming in from freelancing and side gigs to make do for the first couple of months.

While on the hunt for full-time jobs, Collin and I spent much of our time driving around, exploring our new city. I wish I had realized then how FREE we were!

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circle the drain… (pt. three)

I realized that I was so deeply unhappy with myself that I couldn’t even look in the mirror. If I did happen to catch a glimpse of my reflection, I didn’t recognize the person staring back. I pretended not to care about my appearance after awhile, citing “#thatquarantinelife” and “#workingfromhomewithababyatoddlerapreteenandateenlife.” Though these are legitimate stressors, they are also excuses. BS excuses.

Sure, times are hard and you don’t have to be perfect, but when you start to feel disgusting in your own skin (and there’s something you can do about it, but you just don’t), there is something wrong. In my particular case, there was no one to blame but myself.

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circle the drain… (pt. two)

Since March, it’s been hard to express joy. It seems like everyone around us is facing hardship, whether it’s illness (COVID-19 and beyond), financial loss, unemployment, racial inequality, LGBTQ+ discrimination, depression, or something else.

Because we haven’t wanted to make a big deal out of it given the current social climate, not many people know that we bought a house this year. But truthfully, it’s a BIG EFFING DEAL. We still can’t believe it. Coming from Southern California, we never expected to own a home. At best, it was a far off goal.

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